You wake in the middle of the night, sweating and terrified. You watch the doorknob and imagine that it is turning. Your stomach churns with fear. Someone comes up behind you and you didn't know they were there. Imagine feeling boxed in, your stomach churning, an unreasonable fear eating at your insides. You are so startled it takes you precious minutes to calm your heartbeat and your nerves.

You get touched on the shoulder, and weren't aware it was going to happen. Imagine slinging off the touch and hurting someone's feelings because your emotions go into high drive and you feel like that touch is burning a brand into you. Your skin begins to crawl and your mind tells you that being touched is shameful. Dirty.

Imagine being out in public and being around a lot of men. You are so aware of everything around you, your back and neck begins to knot up and your mind is screaming at you to always be aware of everything around you or something will happen.

There is nothing wrong with kissing or holding hands with someone, but wait. You feel it is dirty, something to be ashamed of, and like you are the lowest slug on earth for allowing it to happen. When it does happen, you cannot enjoy it for the guilt, fear, anxiety and shame eating at your insides.

Imagine your emotions. You find ways to make yourself unnattractive. Everytime you want to dress up and maybe look like a pretty woman, you feel like you are inviting something to happen. If you accept a drink from a guy, you feel like they think you owe them something now. Go out with a guy on a date, and feel the fear of wondering if he will turn on you.

Live with the nightmares, the flashbacks, the fear, the anxiety, the shame, guilt. Live with the fear that you will never be normal ever again. Live with the fear that you will never have a healthy relationship. You are different, forever branded. BUT IT WAS NOT YOUR FAULT.

This is a small amount of what a woman feels when she has been raped. A very small amount. Watch for changes in behavior of your children. Watch for the following things:

Staying to themselves a lot when normally did not.
Insomnia.
Nightmares.
Weight loss or gain.
Withdrawal from all activities.
Not wanting to go to school.
Not wanting to go out.
Flinching at being touched.
Unreasonable fear when the door is knocked on.
Headaches, vomiting, nausea, tension.

Watch for these things and more. You don't know every minute of your child's life, you don't know what happens out there at their school, or when they are out. Even if it is only a small behavior change, please talk to your kids, tell them it is all right for them to talk to you, and keep talking to them. If something has happened to them, they need to talk to you. Believe me, they need you.

Every person reacts differently when something happens to them. That is why I say to look for even the smallest behavior change. If they start smoking, doing drugs, anything like that, there could be a root cause. Find it and keep at it until your child tells you exactly what went wrong. The statistics say that Somewhere in America, a woman is raped every 2 minutes, according to the U.S. Department of Justice. Statistics.. are you or your child one of those numbers?

While 9 out of 10 rape victims are women, men and boys are also victimized by this crime. In 1995, 32,130 males age 12 and older were victims of rape, attempted rape or sexual assault. [National Crime Victimization Survey. Bureau of Justice Statistics, U.S. Department of Justice, 1996.]