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If you're serious about pleasing a woman...



We don't ask much. But here is a list of solid advice if you meet someone you think you'd like to keep.
 

  1. When she corrects your lousy grammar, or misuse of words, don't accuse her of being smug. It's just that she doesn't want to be ashamed to take you out in public.
  2. If you accuse her of "faking it", understand that she loves you or she wouldn't go through the trouble. You can't be the world's greatest lover all the time. Sometimes she sleeps with you simply to please you.
  3. She doesn't need to be told that her mother is always wrong.
  4. She could use some help with the housework, since you should understand that it's not her "job". If you live there, it's your "job" too.
  5. Sometimes she can fix appliances better than you can.
  6. If she lets you watch sports, you'd better let her watch soaps.
  7. If she burns dinner because she's trying to do everything herself instead of your helping her, take her out to a romantic restaurant.
  8. If you buy her lingerie, remember that it's a present for you, not her.
  9. If she gains weight, remember that she's aware of it, and does not need advice from you as to how to lose it.
  10. If she snores, be deaf at night.
  11. If she doesn't look her best in the morning, remember that neither do you.
  12. If you gain weight, don't ever blame her cooking.
  13. Don't get her involved with your friends (especially if their wives sell Tupperware or Amway) unless it's her choice. She can choose her own friends.
  14. Don't take credit for teaching her how to drive a standard shift unless you actually did.
  15. Always remember that she wasn't born the day she met you. She had a life before you, and she may not want to forget it. Never ask her about past boyfriends.
  16. You don't know what's best for her. She is intelligent, and perfectly capable of making her own choices.
  17. Never do anything for her as a favor unless you're sure it's favorable for her.
  18. Stop asking her what she's thinking about. Marriage, or any other close relationship does not constitute such invasion of privacy.
  19. She doesn't need your permission to try a new hairstyle.
  20. If there is a baby in the family, never be stupid enough to ask her who's more important, you or the baby. She might decide to answer you.
  21. If she's spent the day waxing the floor, don't have your friends comment about how nice it looks. She'll feel like a child seeking Daddy's approval. Flattery is only good when it's subtle.
  22. If she wants a night out with the girls, don't worry about her picking up men. She has you at home, so she's probably tired of men in general.
  23. If you really want to suck up at the speed of light, simply ask her what she wants. Then listen. You might be surprised.


 

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