Wife 1.0
I am writing this
letter as a last resort. Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife
1.0 and noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing
that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. No mention of this
phenomenon was included in the product brochure.
In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches
during system initialization, where it monitors all other system activity
Applications such as Pokernight 10.3, Drunken Boys Night 2.5, and Saturday
Football 5.0 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected. I
cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run
some of my other favorite applications.
I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but uninstall does not
work on this program. Can you help me, please?
Thanks,
Fred
Dear Fred:
This is a very common problem that men complain about, but it is mostly
due to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to
Wife 1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a "UTILITIES &
ENTERTAINMENT" program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by
its creator to run everything.
It is unlikely you would be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back
to Girlfriend 7.0. Hidden operating files within your system would cause
Girlfriend 7.0 to emulate Wife 1.0, so nothing is gained. It is impossible
to uninstall, delete, or purge the program files from the system once
installed. You can not go back to Girlfriend 7.0, because Wife 1.0 is not
designed to do this. Some have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0
but end up with more problems than the original system. Look in your
manual under "Warnings -- Alimony/Child Support." I recommend you keep
Wife 1.0 and just deal with the situation.
Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the entire
section regarding General Partnership Faults (GPFs). You must assume all
responsibility for faults and problems that might occur, regardless of
their cause. The best course of action will be to enter the command
C:APOLOGIZE. In any case avoid excessive use of the "Esc" key, because
ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the
operating system will return to normal. The system will run smoothly as
long as you take the blame for all the GPFs.
Wife 1.0 is a great program, but very high-maintenance. Consider buying
additional software to improve the performance of Wife 1.0. I recommend
Flowers 2.1 and Chocolates 5.0. Do not, under any circumstances, install
Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This is not a supported application for
Wife 1.0 and is likely to cause irreversible damage to the operating
system.
Best of luck,
Tech Support