An applicant was filling out a job application. When he came to the
question, "Have you ever been arrested?" He answered, No. The next
question, intended for people, who had answered in the affirmative to
the last one, was Why? The applicant answered it anyway: Never got
caught.
Employer to applicant: In this job we need someone who is
responsible.
Applicant: I'm the one you want. On my last job, every time anything
went wrong, they said I was responsible.
Young man, do you think you can handle a variety of work? I ought to
be able to. I've had ten different jobs in four months.
Judge to defendant: Aren't you ashamed, coming here for the third
time?
Defendant: Well, you come every day.
Why did the man wear a wet shirt?
Because the shirt's label said: Wash and wear..
Which city is trying to get rid of its mad people?
Madrid.
A teacher was testing the young student's intelligence.
When is your birthday dear? asked the teacher to his six-year old. 22nd
February, said the child.
What year my dear? Asked the teacher.
Every year, said the child with a smile
Sunny: My mom took me to the cemetery last Sunday.
Sonia: Oh! anyone died?
Sunny: Yes All of them
Knock, Knock.
Who's there?
Opportunity.
Can't be.
Why Not?
Opportunity knocks only once.
What is the best place to go to when you are dying?
The living room.
When can 60 people stand under an umbrella without getting wet?
When it isn't raining.
Raju: How many sides does a circle have?
Ravi: A circle does not have any side.
Raju: Yes, it does, the inside and the outside.
Why are doctors and lawyers never perfect?
Because they are always practising