A Fight For Control
Thanks giving Day, is almost here,
and all my thoughts, aren’t so clear.
For weeks and weeks,
I’ve felt real blue,
for so many reasons well, here’s a few.
I fight with this person,
at least once a day,
but he always seems to win,
in some sort of way.
He keeps me a prisoner,
locked up in the house,
and makes me feel smaller
than a little field mouse.
I’m always getting beat up,
given cuts and sore bruises,
It can happen at any time,
whenever he chooses.
I try to fight back,
but it’s terribly hard,
So I give up and crumble,
as my body gets scarred.
This kid has a partner,
who helps beat me down,
but I don’t want to be seen,
so I say I left town.
The damage that’s been done,
may never go away.
So I ask God to help me,
at night when I pray.
With Thanksgiving near,
I slowly start to panic,
every hour that passes,
my behavior gets more manic.
When the day’s finally here,
and people start to come.
I say my hellos
and stand there feeling dumb.
I turn my head fast,
and stare at the floor.
I sit down in misery,
as if it was a chore.
I want nothing more
than to run out and cry,
but then my whole family,
will be wondering why.
I hope that he’s happy,
and likes what he’s done.
He has made me so angry,
again he has won.
When the day comes to an end,
and it’s just me in my bed.
The battle keeps on going,
inside my head.
Why can’t I just stop him,
and forever make him sleep,
and throw him in a dark hole,
that is ten miles deep.
I know I could beat him,
if I gave it my best,
but learning how to do so,
Now that is the test!
It isn’t real physical, we both weight the same,
and I couldn’t forget him because we both share a name.
It is all in the head, I must psyche him out mentally,
but we always think the same things, it happens coincidentally.
So for now I’ll just sit here, and painfully struggle.
While the thoughts; in my head, continue to juggle.
Kid I will meet you just wait and you’ll see.
I would definitely stake my life on it, since that kid is just Me.